Another b’day, another unsolicited post. It’s become a tradition and since I am a bhartiya nari I have to uphold it.
So what have I learnt this past year? Absolutely nothing, a tiny voice says in my head.
Have I done the things I set out to do? No. Have I changed in any way that benefits me? Prolly not. Have I started making healthier choices? Hell no.
But I exist. And for now that is enough.
The italians have this phrase (made popular by Eat Pray Love) dolce far niente. Although I am pretty sure it isn’t a substitute for “you’re just being lazy, buttface” even if I’d like it to be. It’s the sweetness of doing nothing.
I’d like that. To be nothing. To be a cherry blossom in the wind drifting, stark white against blue. To be the tree that bends. To be that first drop of rain hitting the earth and creating that absolutely lovely smell. To be that lone stone rolling in a vast desert.
I’d like to be free from the shackles of time and dates and people and places.But I would also like to wake up and do more and be more. Be enough.
As I move forward every year is a cruel reminder of the time gone by.
But I exist. And for this fleeting moment that is enough.
Well, on to the next one!
Well it wouldn’t be my birthday without me writing a post about it.
Winds of change, change of winds, fart noises.
My sense of humor has devolved to that of a five year old’s. That could also be a direct consequence of watching all those Minion movies.
Yes, I plead guilty to possessing minion accessories. I should be jailed.
I’ve lost a few along the way, people, not weight. And I’ve gained a few as well, weight, not people.
But for once, I’m optimistic and I’m scared too.
But I know that I will survive.
So here I am, giddy like an anime schoolgirl, overtly joyous, extremely anxious and riddled with the need to excessively punctuate.
I’m just a tiny bit less sad.
And I’m smiling tonight.
PS- Highlight of my night, the google doodle.
No matter how careful one is, being hurt is inevitable. Yes, one has to move on but that doesn’t make it any less painful. Be it love, family or friendship, each relationship leaves a mark.
It becomes harder to move on when there is no closure. Subtlety isn’t my strong suit. I can never be subtle or understand it. So, I hate when things are left unsaid. Why put on a show? It’s not going to help anyone. Just rip the band-aid off and let the wound heal.
Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. They have everything written on the back! Flavour, ingredients, the presence of nuts, manufacturing address and other such things we ignore.
Life is like a big box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. Yes, the little grey one looks funny and smells fishy but you eat it anyway. Life is a series of weirdly delightful and artfully obscure experiences.
Let curiosity kill you. You still have eight to go!