Birthday post or let’s just put this nail in the coffin already

Another b’day, another unsolicited post. It’s become a tradition and since I am a bhartiya nari I have to uphold it. 

So what have I learnt this past year? Absolutely nothing, a tiny voice says in my head. 

Have I done the things I set out to do? No. Have I changed in any way that benefits me? Prolly not. Have I started making healthier choices? Hell no. 

But I exist. And for now that is enough. 

The italians have this phrase (made popular by Eat Pray Love) dolce far niente. Although I am pretty sure it isn’t a substitute for “you’re just being lazy, buttface” even if I’d like it to be. It’s the sweetness of doing nothing. 

I’d like that. To be nothing. To be a cherry blossom in the wind drifting, stark white against blue. To be the tree that bends. To be that first drop of rain hitting the earth and creating that absolutely lovely smell. To be that lone stone rolling in a vast desert. 

I’d like to be free from the shackles of time and dates and people and places.But I would also like to wake up and do more and be more. Be enough. 

As I move forward every year is a cruel reminder of the time gone by. 

But I exist. And for this fleeting moment that is enough.

Well, on to the next one!

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