Happy -Congrats, you squeezed out of a vagina today- day! Tra-la-la-la

This is one day out of three sixty five when I feel obligated to be happy.

The kicker? I am not.

Shouldn’t chirping birds awake me? Accompanied with a glorious sunrise, a picture perfect day and being surrounded by loved ones? Yet I feel more alone than ever. I used to revel in it. The disconnect appealed to me.

As I grow older(sadly), I have surmised that the cliche ‘No man is an island’ is somewhat true. But I have also realized that people are not my boundaries.

I have changed and I hope I reach a point of time in the near future where I learn to be okay with myself. I am certainly closer to that state than I ever was.

Here’s to being slightly weird and anti social! Here’s to still singing 90s songs in the shower!  Here’s to being miserable intermittently!  Here’s to defining a new normal! Here’s to an updated 15.0.3 version of me! I hope there are many more(versions) to come.

The thing I’m more perturbed about is the apparent lack of chocolates I received today.

Happy Birthday to me!

2 comments

  1. sanphen

    Happy Birthday for last month.
    I dislike [because hate is to strong a word for this] about birthdays is that it’s another day, why the fuss. Yes I use it as an excuse to take a day of work. But why should everyone fuss around and make me feel like I HAVE to be happy and enjoy myself and do something. Why can’t I stay in bed and read a book all day?
    Why do I have to have friends around?
    Why do I have to go out for dinner somewhere ‘special’?

    It’s another day for millions around the world, why not for me?
    Why the false celebration? What are you celebrating? Your body breaking down a bit more, your eyesight so you have to find a different set of glasses to read the cards, and another to take a walk down the road, the body drops another inch towards the ground.

    Flipping on the ‘happy’ switch: I guess the fact that people care enough to be there for you, the fact that someone has taken time to chose and write in a card, the fact that this day, your day makes someone happy, the fact that you have survived another year and; hopefully, learnt something new in that year. All of this is reason to smile and feel some level of cheer. Just not to much, eh? Don’t want people to think I enjoy my birthday to much or they much load more ‘joy’ on me next year.

    • Staircase Wit

      This is quite true! What also makes me happy is that I’ve hung on to this blog somehow and that is an achievement.

      But. Thank you, your words are so comforting! Atleast someone feels the same way. I guess its the realization that I am enough for me is kinda nice and self important, but mostly nice!
      Thank you for reading.

      I read your recent post. I am really sorry for your loss. It’s hard to go through life without having the very people who created it.
      All we can do is look back on those amazing memories, reminisce about those sunny days and let time heal us.

      All I want to say is, it’s okay to run away and cry sometimes. Reality can wait.

      (PS: I’m sorry for the late reply!)

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